Animal Crossing: New Leaf, New Start, New HELL
by GorgonBuzz
Summary: A new town, a new start...a new leaf. That's what I thought before I moved here. When I was forced to be mayor and rule over a town of lunatics my world was flipped upside down. I don't know what I believe to be real any more, but interacting with these strange and terrifying characters might be my only way out.


It was my first day in the new town.

I stepped off the train earlier than expected; it wasn't supposed to arrive until later that afternoon, but there'd been some problems and the train had passed by several stations instead of stopping.

The first thing I noticed was the unmistakeable salty tang in the air. The sea! I was so excited to be living near to the sea at _last_. The ocean had been calling to me my whole life, I just knew it had, and now I was free to walk along the beach and let the wind blow away my worries every single day. First of all I knew I was going to collect shells...I'd find some special ones to send home to my parents, maybe some of those pearly white ones with frills along the edges. Maybe I'd find a pearl oyster!

My mind was wandering and I smiled at the monkey in the ticket booth as I crossed the platform. That's fucked up, I thought vaguely. That's a fucking monkey. The monkey had shit all over the booth and was gnawing on its own ass, but I smiled because I am a good neighbour. The monkey sneezed at me.

God, how I've grown to love that monkey since my first day.

As I stepped out of the train station my breath caught in my throat. It was fucking beautiful. My new home town, where I could love and live the rest of my days, crossed by a sparkling river and fringed by a warm, fertile ocean. I felt so content in that moment, I really did. A cool breeze blew, and it felt like a film of dust had been blown off me.

"Welcome!" yipped a voice, startling me out of a daydream, "welcome to Anus Valley! You must be the mayor!"

I turned and suddenly I could barely speak. The most beautiful girl I ever saw was standing right there, talking to me. She was a dog. What the fuck. Fuck she was cute. She twitched her soft blonde ears in a way that made my dick incredibly hard, and tipped her head to the side.

"You are the mayor, aren't you?" she said in a dog voice. Not like a Scooby-Doo voice, but like a little Chihuahua voice. Not like Scrappy-Doo either though. FUCK that guy.

Goddamn my boner was big for that adorable abomination of God.

"Aha! No, I think there's been a mistake," I chuckled, using my bag to conceal my swollen crotch sausage. "I'm not the mayor, I just moved here." I shrugged apologetically. What can you do? I certainly wasn't going to get myself into trouble on the first day of my new life.

"You're the mayor," she replied. "What's your name?"

I wondered if she wanted to get to know me and my dick got so big it knocked my bag out of my hands and right onto the cobblestones.

"Um..? I'm Fleshynub...sorry, but I said I wasn't the mayor. I just came by train-"

Without warning the dog girl swept her hand forward and grabbed me right in the dick. She squeezed my dick so hard I could feel her little fucking dog nails digging into my scrotum. I immediately came so hard I felt like I was going to jizz my testes right onto her paws.

"Hhhhhhhh," I said, "hhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

"It's nice to meet you, Fleshynub," said the dog girl as she clutched at my man snake, "I'm Isabelle, and I'll be your secretary."

As soon as she said secretary I started thinking about porn. I wondered if she'd let me fuck her in an office. That excited me so much I got hard and came five more times, one right after the other. Why was there a monkey in the ticket office why

"Okay," I wheezed, "I'll be your fucking boss. The mayor. I have semen in my socks."

"I hate semen!" squeaked Isabelle excitedly. My dick became so soft it almost melted. "But a shoe store should be opening soon on main street, so you can get some new socks."

Fuck this semen-hating dog girl, I thought.

"Just so you know, I'm gay now," I viciously roared at Isabelle, frothy spit flying from the edges of my gaping maw and beading in her lustrous fur like pathetic snowflakes, "you turned me gay and I hope you're fucking happy. The WBC will be protesting in my asshole any minute now, thanks to you."

"When you're ready, come to the town hall and sit in the Mayor's chair!" honked Isabelle. "Your house is on the east of the town, so I hope you have fun settling in!" She turned and farted away, causing rare bugs to scatter as she approached, such was the volume of her disgusting ass noises.

"I can't believe I wanted to fuck you!" I screamed at her, before turning on my heel and squelching over to my house in a gay manner. I'd show her. I'd be the best fucking mayor Anus Valley had ever seen.

My house was a tent. "Why is my house a fucking tent," I said. "Why is my house a fucking goddamn tent."

A sea bass poked its stupid shitty beaky head out of a nearby pond. "Fuck you," it laughed, "you wretched fucking mess. Fuck you. It's all going to get so much worse from now on. I'm the real mayor and I'm going to sit here and watch you BURN." The sea bass then swam away.

It started to rain, and in my tent that night I listened. I felt the thin veil between me and nature. It felt almost umbilical, it felt like a membrane; I could hear the muffled sounds from outside but I was safe in my dark womb.

I dreamed of ancient fish that night.


End file.
